Lorena Santacruz
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Why I've been MIA

7/8/2019

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​Been a minute, busy nurture ME! 
Feeling all the feels and saging the old mierda 💩 

End of April I led a retreat in Costa Rica, it was magical, a deep dive full of transformations, beautiful experience however it's easy to guide/lead others through transformational work but its a whole other ball game to practice it and do the dirty work myself… and with that work comes LOT’S of compassion for self.

Being okay with not being okay. Not needing to pretend that I’ve got all my shit together. Learning to really take care of my inner angel while old age paradigms and programs crumble to pieces. Death and rebirth and more death and rebirth. 
Watching old pieces of me creep up as to distract me… having to drown them out with my practices and then realizing that there is no drowning them out but loving those aspects of me that really only ever wanted attention and love.

I’d have a deep profound death experience followed by a rebirth thinking “wow that was magic” then boom another death and rebirth FACK it’s been intense, uncomfortable, beautiful and messy! 

I’ve kept away from social because I didn’t need anymore distractions from feeling my feelings. Social media or not numbing is an easy copout for me and I chose to stop all distractions and dive into the most uncomfortable feelings ever… the way I did this was unconventional and came from moving my body and sitting with the pain in my body. It was really powerful and I can’t wait to share more about that all together because although I’ve experienced emotions coming up with movement/yoga  this was definitely NEXT LEVEL full on shaking and trauma leaving the body wild!

Massive breakdowns and breakthroughs as I felt into and let go of deep pain that my body was holding mainly. Serious heart and sacral work! (Perfect for May national masturbation month) 

My biggest take away from it all is that FORGIVENESS is the key to everything and really the only person I had to forgive was ME! 
Self forgiveness for anything and everything I think I’ve ever done...blasted my heart open like nothing I be very experienced before! 

Thats the Coles not and VERY short story of where I’ve been at. Choosing to share because I know others are feeing all the feels too and I want you to know I appreciate you and I honour you and I see you!
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