THE SYSTEM IS F@CKED UP AND BROKEN

​Well I’ve been silent for a while and all I'm sharing is my opinion which like everyone else’s opinion very personal.

So not needing to have anyone agree with me.

The system is FUCKED… it’s BEEN fucked and I pray that this global pause really makes us all aware of how broken our system was and is and that we all have a part to play, and some work to do and responsibility to take before we blame others.

I believe we are one and that the inner reflects the outer and that all of out collective pain and ancestral trauma has been boiling up and is now spilling over and out... it's painful, messy, chaotic and uncomfortable as FACK!  For some of us who have been doing this inner work we know how uncomfortable it can be at the time ... this is another level of it spilling out and over into the world and we can no longer turn away!   

Personally I’ve used this whole lockdown time to recharge from a burnout and with all the alone time came facing myself and the shadows I thought were gone but secretly knew were there.  
I also chose to stay off of social media deleting the apps form my phone, because I know how easy it is to get caught up in external dramas and fears that are running wild right now… in my opinion the real virus that has plagued humanity is fear, anxiety, oppression, depression all stemming from fear and lack of love!
I was never afraid of the RONA I was more afraid of being left alone with my shadows until I befriended the not so scary dudes....Also I do think that there are dark forces behind all of this and they’re very much keeping people in fear to control and manipulate them…. however I also think we’ve brought in so much light that all the shit is coming to surface and slowly but surely being exposed.

As if shit wasn’t already really weird on the outside with the global lockdown and global pandemic, we experience a blatant murder of an innocent black man pleading for his life on camera in broad daylight... in this day and age REALLY?!  Fuck well then the system is even more broken than I realized it’s sickening.  

I tried to escape this world aka the matrix by living in the jungle for three years but realized that I wasn’t doing any good there and the reality was that you cannot run away from yourself... and although very healing I had to come back to where I was born and raised and to where my family lived to face all the different parts of myself here I was running from. 

As for racism it’s very real, disgusting and it's always hurt my soul…. I was born that way not raised that way. Because truth be too I heard racist remarks in my house more than once and I would cry and put up a fight because even as a child it hurt my heart and I truly never understood it.  
The most messed up part of that is that we were not white we were many different shades of brown some lighter and darker than others ...From Colombia, a country of brown, black and white people. Never understood it but in Colombia and many countries around the world the lighter your skin the more privileged and beautiful you are... Fucked up!

A a little girl in the suburbs before it became as multicultural as it is now my family was the one that stood out we were mocked it was shitty and the worst was the teachers.... as awful as that was I am not black and have never nor will ever feel what they have felt and experienced for hundreds of years   

With the recent events I’m not questioning the broken systems or the people not paying attention or staying quiet I’m questioning the only person I truly can and that’s myself ….. where in my life have I been judging, oppressing, neglecting … how can I in my life be a better citizen of the human race? How can I speak up and show up fearless and be a voice and light for the voiceless or people in pain?  How can I do better? How can I contribute right now?  Questions lead to answers.

I will also keep doing my inner work to release all my shit and expose my shadows because judging is just as fucked and I truly believe that hurt people hurt people and our systems and society is so broken and hurt that they are numbed out.  Abusing power, abusing people its fucking brutal!

The question comes back to ME to this human incarnate LORENA…. What can I do in my life right now? What in my power can I do? Black lives matter!!  

I have chosen to stay off of social media since the RONA shit all came about and just recently got back on to see what had been happening with the latest events and I think all feelings are valid and how anyone chooses to move forward is valid…. Together we are stronger so shaming people isn’t the answer either. I truly believe that we can and ARE making a difference and that we can all find ways to contribute, I am home recovering from a fractured foot so I’m not going to protest plus as a super sensitive being already I don’t think my nervous system could handle it,  so I've chosen to learn, educate myself and contribute to a few foundations that are and have been fighting for justice and equality for years. Blacklivesmatter.com, blacklivesmatter.ca, colorofchange.org (ps you don't have to have money to contribute, some of the foundations are asking for you to sign petitions so there's always a way).  I am also learning about all the Canadian local foundations and what and where I can contribute. 

So writing this for myself but I hope if you are reading it that you question your own motives and life, the things you have control over.  

And that being said I also believe that OUR generation is here to create change NOT to repeat history. The system is broken and we came knowing this…. We’ve all had that feeling of how fucked it is, there’s been so much music, art and books on it, something had to happen …. So much greed, so much exploitation, oppression and controlling…. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I pray that none of the victims of these inhumane deaths will be in vain and that we use the fire and fuel to unite and create changes.  We are that generation of entrepreneurial visionaries who thrive on problem solving and solutions…. Let’s fuck them up with UNITY!

I will continue to support, I will LISTEN and educate myself and do all I can.  With a loving open heart because I choose to. I also love that everyone is fired up because fire is fuel and fuel leads to action and change!!! May we all use this fuel and rise together as human family knowing that we’ve all been facking lied to for way too facking long! ENOUGH!! NO MAS!

This is a wakeup call for all of us to join forces but may that come from a place of love and responsibility and not shame and guilt.  

I do pray that this time is used wisely but again I can only speak and act for myself so with that I’m out... I've most definitely not stopped creating behind the scenes or screens so I'LL BE BACK  ;) 


PEACE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL BEINGS…. Remember that we are all in this together…. Like I said lets fuck them up with UNITY and RISE together.

I love you!

Los amo 


Okay I lied ONE LAST THING ....  Love you Michael 

From Man in the Mirror 

"Who am I to be blind?
Pretending not to see their needs
A summer disregard, a broken bottle top
And a one man soul
They follow each other on the wind ya' know
'Cause they got nowhere to go

That's why I want you to know
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It's time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone?
​
A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart
And a washed-out dream
(Washed-out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind ya' see
'Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me
(Starting with me!)