Heartbreak

​Heartbreak
I guess it’s something I never truly allowed myself to FEEL, I’d feel it but I’d fast forward through it as much as I could. 
Really heartbreak is only the breaking open of the heart at least that’s my new perspective.


Still heartbreak ouch it hurts right. 
Each little heartbreak that isn’t felt just adds to the layers of bricks building a wall leading to a  fun uncovering of layers when you actually do decide to feel....which I’m feeling oh yes feeling it all!


I realize there was still lots of unprocessed heartbreak, I mean I don’t think I ever truly FELT a heartbreak until the passing of Rocky and since then I’ve slowly uncovered more and more un-felt unprocessed heartbreaks. 
I also realize that covering up and not feeling is an old program, “don’t cry look how ugly you look crying” “if you cry no one will be your friend” ....well then stuff them feelings so far down that you’re just a numb-bot makes sense right NAHHH! 
Well when you need to feel something to move past it, it will show up any which way. 
Now I’m no numb bot and super empathic but feeling my own feelings was always scary so I’d avoid. 
In fact avoiding is another great program that’s been deprogrammed. 
But right now where I stand or sit today I am allowing the heart to feel so I can breathe. 
The heart chakra is connected to the element of air which is our breath so after you a good cry breathing is ORGASMIC! 
Now heartbreaks aren’t all from exes in fact most of mine have nothing to do with exes and more so to do with the loss of a friendship, client, pets, rejection ...one heartbreak that I’ve recently remembered was when I was 7 and my friends stopped talking/playing  with me out of no where the amount of confusion and heartbreak was real and doing my heart chakra work has uncovered that...wild! 
So I’m feeling it, thanking it, loving it and feeling all the more whole every time I allow myself to truly FEEL.... uncomfortable messy and so yummy at the same time. 
This human experience is wild right and I alway come back to FACK it’s just a movie give me the popcorn so I can enjoy it! 
Crying and laughing go hand and I love to laugh and now love to cry too. LOVES IT!