Expectations … what does the word mean to you?
Here’s the actual definition - a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
"reality had not lived up to expectations"
Expectations to ME is something that takes away joy of the NOW and leads to stories that can lead to well a plethora of emotions that can come from stories built in your imagination.
Once we create an expectation we immediately focus on a future that doesn’t exist… not only that but you also start to believe the stories becoming more and more attached the expectation.
Let me share some examples of how I’ve gotten in my own way by creating an expectation…. A restaurant I give it an expectation that the food is going to be amazing because I saw a picture online that looked amazing, in reality it didn’t live up to my expectation and there was a let down.
Having an expectation of an event where I prepared for so long with stories and fantasies in my head of how it would be, my outfit, the people around the music that would be played and how much I would dance and enjoy myself …. The reality the music wasn’t dancing music, the vibe wasn’t what I expected, people I thought were going weren’t there and again it didn’t live up to the expectation created by my head and there was a let down.
The exception of a date with a loved one or friend, in my head I had it all planned out… in fact this happened recently … I called my parents and told them to come for a visit and in my head I had planned a full day of dinner the movies and an adventure in the city …. The reality was they had personal relationship problems that they brought along with them and the energy was off, it wasn’t anything like I had planned in my head and there was that little sigh of being let down, although with this one since it was the most recent I’m able to change it quickly and become present enjoying the NOW.
So it’s been work for me to get out of the fantasy creation in my head I mean sometimes you can’t help it right, going on a vacation and the excitement and expectations build however excitement and exceptions kind of go hand in hand and it’s important to come back to NOW and connect to the reality of the breath and the IS-ness meaning letting go of the storied and expectations.
Relationships HAAAA!!! Truly I believe the reason many people are unhappy in relationships is because there’s always an expectation from the other person and then there’s a let down and resentment starts to build and boil inside but this is all created from stories and fantasies that aren’t real and really have NOTHING to do with the other person at all.
It’s not easy you meet a really beautiful man or woman and instantly the mind goes into fantasy mode, “oh maybe she’s/he’s the one” …"cant wait for my friends to meet her/him she’s/he’s perfect” DUDE those are fantasies and not fair to the other person. You build up an expectation that the other person is perfect from the stories you’ve been feeding into and then when the person shows up as the person they are you’re completely let down, upset and resentful. Taking away from the beauty of experiencing the NOW with this person.
It’s not easy I get it but if we could just go into all situations like children curious and open I think we would be so much more content.
It’s work and this is why practicing being present is such a beautiful practice. How beautiful to enjoy the presence and company of another in its entirety instead of taking away from it building stories.
Expectations can also be and expectation of yourself and lead to feelings of guilt and shame if you lets say wakeup feeling not so hot and had planned all these things for yourself.
Expectations can also be negative in the form that you’re just expecting the worst and end up worrying and anxious making yourself truly sick for no reason.
Oh the stories our little heads can come up with truly can FACK you up …. So my suggestion always come back to the breath and your body, feel the sensation sin your body… or go outside nature is the best teach it just IS. If you cannot get out to nature wash your hands, have a shower or bath or clap your hands do something to get out of your head.
That’s all from me …. I’ve been practicing this for a while in my own life to be completely open to experiences however I’m still living this human experience so I fall but get back up my weakness is restaurants lol true story food is just so important to me, it’s that primal thing that I enjoy so much so if I’m let down I get cranky for a minute and have to come back to the NOW haha
Practice makes progress and that’s what I strive for.