Caring what people think clearly as awesome as I am, and I do humbly think that because I KNOW we are all awesome beautiful divine beings .... however there’s still times when the old programmed thoughts can creep in and there’s fear of saying, doing, posting, wearing something. And to feel it in my body is uncomfortable AF because it’s not our divine essence to feel anything other than amazing about ourselves... now NOT to say that these feelings and emotions don’t feel real or to avoid them that’s the opposite of what I’m saying, in fact I get stuck in that little loop too and my smart human character/ego knows how to trick me into avoiding with things like avoid dancing, moving, not moving, cooking, nature, YouTube, writing …. So I do things that will essentially raise my vibe HOWEVER you can’t bypass the poop and sugarcoat it or it’ll still be poop you know what I’m saying … 


Yeah I’m still working on this whole human thing and still can go there and it’s absolutely beautiful because I can watch myself and still love that human that’s housing my soul!  ALSO when I can love that human I can stop and allow that human to feel when she’s ready and it always happens because again even though things happen and it feel like you’ve gone back in time emotionally you haven’t and certain things come up to be looked at and transformed or released. 


I like to think of this human thing as a dance 💃🏻 two steps forward one step back, left, right, spin buy there’s no staying back so I truly belong that no matter what is going on in your life it’s absolutely perfect for your evolution as a human being. 


Remember we are not our bodies.... funny because I too can look in the mirror and focus on that character that’s looking back at me but that’s when things can get heavy ... I associate myself with the character instead of remembering that I’m the divine soul that locked inside enjoying a human experience ALL OF IT! 


So as I write it’s not me preaching I’m just writing and as I write the messages are for me and whoever else is reading this right now.


Another message for us both is that we are loved beyond comprehension, there’s nothing that can be said or done that will make your divine/higher self/god/the universe (whatever you choose to call it) see you as anything but perfection ... which is why when you say something mean about yourself, or judge you’re it feels so uncomfortable and we feel “off” if we just connected to that beautiful divinity and remembered that we are perfect and whole exactly as we are that we are not these suites or characters and nobody is keeping score it’s like a video game


... if you were playing a video game you wouldn’t get so attached to the character and you’d cheer them on to get them to win lol I know you know what I mean if you’ve played video games there’s always people that yell at the screen. Well you can cheer your character on too in your head with nice things :) 




So this post is just me sharing that I’m still perfectly imperfect and still have my shit creep up like caring what others think, digging deep into that old program it was installed into my being from a young age it was always “shhhh what will they say” or “you can’t do that in public what will people say” “imagine what people will say” yeah I don’t know if its a Colombian thing or what but I gots that drilled into me so it’s taken me a bit longer to shed that program and still get moments of glitches HOWEVER I also see my growth like when I spend time with people and I’m just the really random weird one who doesn’t wear a bra, watch TV or work a 9-5 lol so yeah I’ve definitely broken from the mold but still living the human experience and that voice still creeps up that’s all ….. moral of the story / post is even if you’re shit has creeped up on you KEEP LOVING YOU… you’re perfect we all are


Also no-one really cares about what you do we’re all just having this wild human experience and it’s us judging us ALWAYS and judging ourselves hurts sooooo limit that shit and make it extinct if possible :) 




LOVE YOU ​

​Expectations … what does the word mean to you? 



Here’s the actual definition - a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
"reality had not lived up to expectations"

• a belief that someone will or should achieve something

Expectations to ME is something that takes away joy of the NOW and leads to stories that can lead to well a plethora of emotions that can come from stories built in your imagination.

Once we create an expectation we immediately focus on a future that doesn’t exist… not only that but you also start to believe the stories becoming more and more attached the expectation.

Let me share some examples of how I’ve gotten in my own way by creating an expectation…. A restaurant I give it an expectation that the food is going to be amazing because I saw a picture online that looked amazing, in reality it didn’t live up to my expectation and there was a let down.

Having an expectation of an event where I prepared for so long with stories and fantasies in my head of how it would be, my outfit, the people around the music that would be played and how much I would dance and enjoy myself …. The reality the music wasn’t dancing music, the vibe wasn’t what I expected, people I thought were going weren’t there and again it didn’t live up to the expectation created by my head and there was a let down.

The exception of a date with a loved one or friend, in my head I had it all planned out… in fact this happened recently … I called my parents and told them to come for a visit and in my head I had planned a full day of dinner the movies and an adventure in the city …. The reality was they had personal relationship problems that they brought along with them and the energy was off, it wasn’t anything like I had planned in my head and there was that little sigh of being let down, although with this one since it was the most recent I’m able to change it quickly and become present enjoying the NOW.

So it’s been work for me to get out of the fantasy creation in my head I mean sometimes you can’t help it right, going on a vacation and the excitement and expectations build however excitement and exceptions kind of go hand in hand and it’s important to come back to NOW and connect to the reality of the breath and the IS-ness meaning letting go of the storied and expectations.

Relationships HAAAA!!! Truly I believe the reason many people are unhappy in relationships is because there’s always an expectation from the other person and then there’s a let down and resentment starts to build and boil inside but this is all created from stories and fantasies that aren’t real and really have NOTHING to do with the other person at all.

It’s not easy you meet a really beautiful man or woman and instantly the mind goes into fantasy mode, “oh maybe she’s/he’s the one” …"cant wait for my friends to meet her/him she’s/he’s perfect” DUDE those are fantasies and not fair to the other person.  You build up an expectation that the other person is perfect from the stories you’ve been feeding into and then when the person shows up as the person they are you’re completely let down, upset and resentful. Taking away from the beauty of experiencing the NOW with this person. 
 
It’s not easy I get it but if we could just go into all situations like children curious and open I think we would be so much more content. 

It’s work and this is why practicing being present is such a beautiful practice. How beautiful to enjoy the presence and company of another in its entirety instead of taking away from it building stories.

Expectations can also be and expectation of yourself and lead to feelings of guilt and shame if you lets say wakeup feeling not so hot and had planned all these things for yourself. 

Expectations can also be negative in the form that you’re just expecting the worst and end up worrying and anxious making yourself truly sick for no reason.

Oh the stories our little heads can come up with truly can FACK you up …. So my suggestion always come back to the breath and your body, feel the sensation sin your body… or go outside nature is the best teach it just IS. If you cannot get out to nature wash your hands, have a shower or bath or clap your hands do something to get out of your head. 

That’s all from me …. I’ve been practicing this for a while in my own life to be completely open to experiences however I’m still living this human experience so I fall but get back up my weakness is restaurants lol true story food is just so important to me, it’s that primal thing that I enjoy so much so if I’m let down I get cranky for a minute and have to come back to the NOW haha

Practice makes progress and that’s what I strive for.

LOVE YOU 

​Been a minute, busy nurture ME! 
Feeling all the feels and saging the old mierda 💩 

End of April I led a retreat in Costa Rica, it was magical, a deep dive full of transformations, beautiful experience however it's easy to guide/lead others through transformational work but its a whole other ball game to practice it and do the dirty work myself… and with that work comes LOT’S of compassion for self.

Being okay with not being okay. Not needing to pretend that I’ve got all my shit together. Learning to really take care of my inner angel while old age paradigms and programs crumble to pieces. Death and rebirth and more death and rebirth. 
Watching old pieces of me creep up as to distract me… having to drown them out with my practices and then realizing that there is no drowning them out but loving those aspects of me that really only ever wanted attention and love.

I’d have a deep profound death experience followed by a rebirth thinking “wow that was magic” then boom another death and rebirth FACK it’s been intense, uncomfortable, beautiful and messy! 

I’ve kept away from social because I didn’t need anymore distractions from feeling my feelings. Social media or not numbing is an easy copout for me and I chose to stop all distractions and dive into the most uncomfortable feelings ever… the way I did this was unconventional and came from moving my body and sitting with the pain in my body. It was really powerful and I can’t wait to share more about that all together because although I’ve experienced emotions coming up with movement/yoga  this was definitely NEXT LEVEL full on shaking and trauma leaving the body wild!

Massive breakdowns and breakthroughs as I felt into and let go of deep pain that my body was holding mainly. Serious heart and sacral work! (Perfect for May national masturbation month) 

My biggest take away from it all is that FORGIVENESS is the key to everything and really the only person I had to forgive was ME! 
Self forgiveness for anything and everything I think I’ve ever done...blasted my heart open like nothing I be very experienced before! 

Thats the Coles not and VERY short story of where I’ve been at. Choosing to share because I know others are feeing all the feels too and I want you to know I appreciate you and I honour you and I see you!

​Heartbreak
I guess it’s something I never truly allowed myself to FEEL, I’d feel it but I’d fast forward through it as much as I could. 
Really heartbreak is only the breaking open of the heart at least that’s my new perspective.


Still heartbreak ouch it hurts right. 
Each little heartbreak that isn’t felt just adds to the layers of bricks building a wall leading to a  fun uncovering of layers when you actually do decide to feel....which I’m feeling oh yes feeling it all!


I realize there was still lots of unprocessed heartbreak, I mean I don’t think I ever truly FELT a heartbreak until the passing of Rocky and since then I’ve slowly uncovered more and more un-felt unprocessed heartbreaks. 
I also realize that covering up and not feeling is an old program, “don’t cry look how ugly you look crying” “if you cry no one will be your friend” ....well then stuff them feelings so far down that you’re just a numb-bot makes sense right NAHHH! 
Well when you need to feel something to move past it, it will show up any which way. 
Now I’m no numb bot and super empathic but feeling my own feelings was always scary so I’d avoid. 
In fact avoiding is another great program that’s been deprogrammed. 
But right now where I stand or sit today I am allowing the heart to feel so I can breathe. 
The heart chakra is connected to the element of air which is our breath so after you a good cry breathing is ORGASMIC! 
Now heartbreaks aren’t all from exes in fact most of mine have nothing to do with exes and more so to do with the loss of a friendship, client, pets, rejection ...one heartbreak that I’ve recently remembered was when I was 7 and my friends stopped talking/playing  with me out of no where the amount of confusion and heartbreak was real and doing my heart chakra work has uncovered that...wild! 
So I’m feeling it, thanking it, loving it and feeling all the more whole every time I allow myself to truly FEEL.... uncomfortable messy and so yummy at the same time. 
This human experience is wild right and I alway come back to FACK it’s just a movie give me the popcorn so I can enjoy it! 
Crying and laughing go hand and I love to laugh and now love to cry too. LOVES IT!

Roar! 


I don’t pretend to always have my shit together I only speak of my own experiences in hopes that others might resonate.


I roar because there’s a fire inside, I’m still learning to direct that fire and not get burnt in the process.




I want to make the world a happier and healthier place but am reminded it starts with me .... I am responsible for the energy I bring to this world My daily practices help but I see how it’s easy to slip and fall into old comfortable patterns and habits... it’s familiar and easy!   Thanks to the work I’ve committed to doing for my own personal development it’s easy to catch and observe without attachment.


Like a Phoenix from the ashes I rise again fack yeah!  So again I’m not here to sugar coat shit I’m here to embrace this thing called being human as much as I can! 


Big shout out to my spiritual homies for always holding it down and reflecting the truth to me always and no sugar coating 🙅🏻‍♀️ but always laughing out way through the wild ride that is LA VIDA!! 

​

NAKED


What do you think of when you think of the word NAKED?


Honestly the thought of this word used to make me twinge!


Synonyms of the word include:
Nude, exposed, au natural, unprotected, uncovered, unhidden, unguarded, unarmed, unveiled, unconcealed, natural, bare, raw, open, overt, stripped, defenceless, unprotected,
vulnerable, helpless, weak.




Here in this photo I am naked in more ways than one! I was physically naked and emotionally naked.


Perhaps the reason the word naked use to cause me discomfort was because I was attaching the wrong meaning, judgement and emotions behind it. My body dysmorphia definitely didn’t help... I wouldn’t even allow my Dr to see me naked there was so much shame.




I use to fear being naked and seen and now I love it!
As for my body she loves being naked too, it’s a practice but I love dancing naked, cooking naked and all the things naked when no one is around of course lol however I am no longer ashamed of my beautiful vessel.


Now naked to me means to be raw, real, natural and unhidden! The word which once caused immense discomfort now empowers me to be more naked in all that I do and say. Plus I LOVE my naked body now 💕


That’s all ❤️✨
​
​

​New experiment gone deliciously RIGHT!


Okay so I love pizza love love but I’m celiac and unless it’s gluten free I end up hurting myself, sharp stabbing pains in my belly no thanks 🙅🏻‍♀️


So recently been experimenting with different crusts as if the last crust wasn’t super easy to make this one here was even easier and OH the foodgasm is REAL 👄


Unlike most pizzas made out there this one is highly alkalizing and cleansing..: my secret ingredient of nutracleanse contains burdock root, dandelion, fenugreek, psyllium and flaxseeds.




Plantain Crust
Ingredients-


1 Plantain
1 1/2 cups of water
1/2 cup of nutracleanse
Pinch of pink Himalayan salt


Directions-
Pre-heat oven to 350
Cut up plantain and blend with water.
Put blended mixture in a bowl and add the nutracleanse and salt.
Bake for 10-15 mins or longer if you like it really crispy like I do. Then top and bake a little longer.


Pesto ingredients
1 bunch of parsley
1 TBS of hemp hearts
1 TBS of nutritional yeast
1 handful of spinach
1/4 cup of water
1 TSP of lime or lemon juice
Pinch of Himalayan pink salt
Optional clove of garlic (not fodmap friendly)


Directions
Put all ingredients in a food processor and mix.


Top your pizza and bak another 6-10 mins so the cheese can melt.


I topped this very alkalizing pizza with parsley hempseed pesto cucumber, zucchini, spinach and vegan cheese.

Sometimes comfort food can be healthy and very simple to make.
This was a quick fast easy meal that made me feel oh so good! Azuki bean noodles topped with fresh tomato sauce.


Tomato Sauce


5 very ripe Roma or cherry tomatoes
2 cloves of minced garlic
2 basil leaves chopped
1/2 tsp Pink Himalayan salt to taste
Pepper to taste
1tsp of olive oil (optional)




Sautéed the garlic in 1tbs of water or the tsp of olive oil in a pot on medium-high heat (I prefer water but it doesn’t make much of a difference), cook the garlic until lightly golden and start to give off a yummy aroma. Then throw in the ripe tomatoes, I throw them in whole and cover the pot for 5-8 minutes on medium-high. After 5 mins the tomatoes are soft the peel slides off and smash them down. Add the basil leaves in, stir and you can blend with a hand blender or keep smashing and smooshing away (that’s my fav).


The noodles cook really fast so 5 minutes into your sauce add the noodles to a pot of boiling water, they take anywhere from 5-7 mins


Top your noodles with the sauce and enjoy!! Bona petit!!