In honour of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week #NEDAW I’ve got a vulnerable share.
Disordered eating and body image issues plagued me for more than half of my life, truly debilitating at times and yet hidden so well and disguised as being “extremely healthy” ... I mean even my doctors thought I was “so healthy”
I was 13 had just got back from summer vacation where I naturally lost a little weight and the feedback was so positive that I basically stopped eating normal meals and that was the beginnings of a very tumultuous relationship with my body and food.
No actually it was even before that, I remember being 10 and heard some girls in class talking about slim fast shakes (that was a thing way back in my yout... no not youth but YOUT if you know you know lol), knowing my mom had the shake in our pantry I was eager to go try it … so my first diet was at the tender age of 10!!
Throughout the years I went through all the extremes at one point or another, the extreme workouts one hour in the morning one hour in the afternoon and another hour at night ummm yeah that was me…. Then I found crossfit, also became an addiction but this was okay because we were all equally obsessed, so I felt like I found my peeps.
Honestly because I had had disordered eating forever even when I was working out it was unhealthy because I did it to earn my food.
So through the years I went through bouts of Starving. Binging. Purging. Dieting. I experienced it all! Painfully and alone.
The pain was real, it was my coping mechanism, an addiction, unfortunately you can’t fully abstain from food making it a little more complicated in recovery.
Pain is a beautiful catalyst,
I wouldn’t have studied nutrition, become a personal trainer or yoga teacher if it wasn’t for this beautiful pain. I wouldn’t have travelled and picked up all the amazing tools that helped in my own healing which I now use to helps others heal if I hadn’t experienced this very real pain! So thank you PAIN!
I’m grateful for it but also ready to shine a light on it so others know they’re not alone in it!
An all too real problem that isn’t talked about enough.
Men and women both struggle with different forms of this and this week I am sharing a little of my own story to honour all of those who have dealt with or who are dealing with any type of eating disorder.
Disordered eating is real and something most people have encountered some more than others.
In the thick of my journey with disorderly eating I vowed to do something to help others not have to experience what I went through.... a seed planted way back when I didn’t even think recovery was possible.
Realizing I wasn’t alone is what saved me form my pain so I’m here to say YOU’RE NOT ALONE, YOU’RE NOT BROKEN!
As I let my secret out and slowly it wasn’t a thing anymore…. Less and less shame around sharing has been huge for me and I know that others out there can benefit from knowing they no longer need to keep this secret.
I believe we are all recovering from something in our lives and an eating disorder might not be it for you but it’s a coping mechanism for us and I believe the answer is community.
I am excited to share that I will be hosting Body Love community classes for people who have dealt with or who are dealing with any type of disordered eating and body image issues at PŪR Yoga & Movement.
Ps diet culture is beyond fucked up! Diets in general fucked up not facked but straight up fucked up!! I’ve got more to say about this lol but I’ll save that for another time.
I’ll be sharing more tools that have helped me reconnect to my body and rebuild my relationship with my body ❤️
Your beautiful body has been with you since day one and deserves to be treated with love.
Body love is self love.
There’s so much I have to say! So many un posted blogs and posts and so many un-uploaded videos. What has kept me so quiet lately?
Navigating so many changes and noticing that many things that used to resonate with me no longer resonate with me and my need to reach out and share is still there but social media and I have a weird relationship … and it just got more complicated lol
Truthfully I had over 2400 friends on facebook and I didn’t know half of them … and then there’s people I know from high school or elementary school that sure we “know” each other but we actually don’t know each other AT ALL. Now don’t get me wrong some of them I have true heart feelings for and love seeing their pots and pics online as I cheer them on and send them love but there’s more than half that truly I can say are not only NOT my friends but never were so why do I keep them on as friends? I mean ideally I’d close Fakebook all together but I’ve got a business page and also have met many beautiful souls during my travels that I do want to keep in touch with so as you can see its kind of complicated lol
I mean it’s one thing to truly love and support people and loved ones and have meaningful connections online which is very possible and another to just follow someone because you have mutual friends or mutual family! CREEPYYYYYY!!
So needless to say I unfriended more than half of my so called friends and it felt liberating I mean honestly I was getting pictures on my feed of weddings and I didn’t know the bride or the groom NOT COOL! I also have over 700 friend requests like HOW? LOL I mean thank you people but truly I don’t know you and if there’s no interactions well BYE!!
Then there’s instagram ohhhhh instagram… I used to be a fan because I thought it was less personal than facebook however I found that I have over 3000 followers and again who are these people ? I went through some them and found out that again it was creepy AF there were a few profiles with no pictures no followers and only following ME yup that right some creepers out there went through the hassle of creating a fake profile and only follow ME? LAWD HAVE MERCY WHO ARE YOU???? Gives me the heebie jeebies lol ewww you know?!
So after years on social media and always being public because I said I have nothing to hide I suddenly decided to go private at least for the time being while I figure out my own stance with this social media and what I want to do with it?
I’ve got so much to share and have been so focused on other things for the end of 2019 and the beginning of this yer that I’m right on time….you know I realized I am my purpose and everything I do I do it with love and I’m in no rush to throw things out in a rush to fulfill some standards that aren’t my own.
Again so much to share with that! I used to think omg I’m not doing this or that or that … meanwhile I am doing so much and building so much that I haven’t given myself the credit! Lorena has so much more to build and share but I am in nor rush because every interaction is part of my purpose … this whole life experience is part of my purpose and I’ve always believed in divine timing! My job to stay in alignment and get back in alignment so I can clearly hear my messages and guidance when I need to otherwise it’s all good there’s no rush to a finish line!
I realized that action is important yes but inspired action instead of forced action is where it’s at for me … I can have a million ideas when I’m not in alignment aka for based and so if I act on those 9/10 times they flop or they manifest but it’s like ughhh why and I can have one brilliant idea when in alignment and catapult …. It’s how I live my life, it’s how I choose to live my life. Breathe relax and allow myself to be guided!
Faith! I believe! Magic! It’s real! It exists! My life is magic! And I’m in no rush divine timing has my back :)